The Man With A Television On His Head
Once, I met a Man With A Television On His Head. He was an entertainer like me. It was one of the best pieces of performance art I have ever seen. Part of what made it so good was the way the onlookers reacted.
“Look, Mum! There’s a Man With A Television On His Head!”
The Man With A Television On His Head looked a bit like this:
But without the clipboard. He also wore a silver suit. And he didn’t shake his head much. The television screen was real. And on the screen was a picture of The Man With A Television On His Head!
“That’s clever!” said one of the onlookers. “I’ve never seen anything like that before”.
It was quite a long time before people began to notice something a bit odd. The TV picture on the TV screen showed The Man With A Television On His Head and the people around him (rather than showing what The Man With A Television On His Head could see himself, from his own viewpoint). This was a live picture from a remote location.
“There’s that girl with the red T-shirt!” said one viewer.
“So where’s the camera?” said her friend.
As The Man With A Television On His Head moved around, the picture changed. But it always showed The Man With A Television On His Head with crowds around him. These crowds were desperate to see themselves on TV and increasingly confused about where the camera was.
I began to notice that some people started to look round for the camera. But the camera was nowhere to be seen. Was it close? No. Was it far away? Maybe….but no one could see it. The live TV picture was very steady, very good quality and in living colour. It certainly didn’t look like the camera was far away.
“Look, Dad….you’re on the telly!”
All day, the scenario repeated itself. The Man With The Television On His Head, the live TV picture, the onlookers, the questions about the camera.
“Perhaps it’s done with a satellite?” said the girl with the red T-shirt.
“It’ll be something to do with digital TV” said her friend.
No one noticed, but there were no cables or wires either. How was it done?
“So how’s it done, do you think?” asked a serious man with a beard.
“Must be with computers” replied his wife.
It took me about an hour to finally realise what was going on. And no, I’m not going to tell you. This performer doesn’t deserve to have his secret revealed just because I worked it out. Who was he, this Man With A Television On His Head? I don’t know, I never got his name.
“Excuse me, Mr Man With A Television On His Head….what’s your name?” I should have asked.
If it was YOU, please contact me. I’d be delighted to give you the credit here that you deserve.
The Man With A Television On His Head also brought with him on that day a comfy-looking armchair. He left it out for anyone to try. But every time someone sat down….it began to move! No one close, no wires, no cables, no cameras. I’m still thinking about how THAT was done!
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