Circus Stories from CIRCUS UNLIMITED!

Circus Stories

Not so much stories of the circus, more stories of CIRCUS  UNLIMITED! folk like us.
Does being a clown mean you always see the funny side? Judge for yourself!
Click on the titles below to see more.

An Interview with Julian the Juggler
There are some, even now, who can’t get it straight in their heads that this can
be an occupation at all.  It’s not like I work in an abattoir is it?

Big Red Noses - The Story Of A Clown Song
There is, of course, a limit to how often you can use words like
“fun”  “laughter”  “happy” and even “Clown” without
the whole thing sounding ridiculous.

Sound In The Clowns
It's hard to keep completely quiet....as we all know!

Hit And Run
If you crash into a streetlight in my road....

Suddenly Legless
I was powerless to change what would happen in the next 5 seconds.
I could only take part. 

The Day We Made The Red Cross Cross
“Oh!  YOU’RE to blame!” “I’m sorry?”  replied Jane.
“We’ve just had a young boy come into the first aid tent with a terrible head injury". 

Camera Cacophony & Missed Photo Opportunities
With all these cameras around, you would think that most incidents worth photographing
would be recorded for posterity.  Alas, it is not so.  There's a real danger of
these incidents being completely forgotten were it not for this "Gallery".

The Wall: Part One
Suddenly there was a long, rumbling sound of considerable volume from the front of my house.
It sounded for all the world like someone had crashed through my ample and sturdy front wall and
had propelled bricks and masonry chunks of considerable size towards the front door some 20 feet away.

The Wall: Part Two
I explained that a car had driven through my wall and that I needed help from her helpline.
She suggested that I should call back tomorrow when head office would be open.
I enquired on which number I should call head office tomorrow.
She gave me the same number that I had just called her on.
I began to realise that we were both going to have to
work very hard on our relationship.

Bang Wand Blues
I had to have a Bang Wand. But something stopped me getting one that night.
Perhaps it was that 40 price tag. 
Daytona Magic went back to Florida and I went home Bang Wandless.
Later of course I regretted it. I tried every-else-where to get one but no go. That was that then. Or was it?

One
There's always one! At every party, promotion, store opening, fete, fair or fun day.
There's always one audience member....you'd really rather wasn't there at all.

All I Wanted Was A TV
The computer demands my name, title, date of birth, postcode, house number,
telephone number and mobile phone number and then informs us both that the TV
screen size has been increased to 18" and the price doubled. We press <ESCAPE> and begin again.

On Yer Uni!
....the Uni went forward. I went backwards (Newton or Einstein probably have a theory to explain it).
The base of my spine hit the parquet. Both my hands went down flat on the floor. My brain fell at
32 feet per second per second. Unfortunately my head fell slightly faster.

Once Upon A Time In Tewkesbury
Miranda found it helped to smash the clean plates on top of each other as they came out of the washer.
Every time one stack of plates crashed down on another, the whole cafe went quiet.
Then the conversations would slowly resume; but at a lower volume than before.

Airline
I was in a queue of cars waiting to use the air machine at a local garage.

Juggling & Stress
Whatever is YOUR definition of stress....that's the one that's important.
After all, its your definition that you have to deal with.  Never mind what the books or experts say!

The Juggler's Personality Test
Over fifty percent of British businesses now use some form of personality or psychometric testing
either in the selection of new employees or to appraise existing staff.
As a working Juggler (and New Age Management Consultant),
I think its time for a Juggler's personality test....and here is one!

The Man With A Television On His Head
“That’s clever!” said one of the onlookers.  “I’ve never seen anything like that before”.

It Wasn't Me, Officer!
I’ve got eight witnesses who put me in the Westminster Academy all day.
PC Sherlock sounds suspicious.  He checks my movements.  My means, my motive, my opportunity.

Banana
What is “right” and what is “wrong”?  It may be art….but is it a banana?
It may be a banana….but is it art?  You be the judge!

Horse
If it looks like a Horse and acts like a Horse then it probably IS a Horse.
Or is it?


Circus Stories from CIRCUS UNLIMITED!

Circus Stories

(Based in Hertfordshire, UK)

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